The Amish Market

Dutch Village Farmer's market in Upper Marlboro, MD

The Amish market is a proverbial food orgy. Housed between Peachez Soul Food Restaurant and a Kim’s Karate lays heaven. With several vendors under one roof, this market bizarre offers everything from: organic meats, fruits & vegetables; cheeses, fresh-baked goods, hot food, spices and hand-made furniture! Located throughout Maryland and Virginia, I frequent their Upper Marlboro location near the courthouse.

Yummy chocolate covered fruit

Upon entering the store you are greeted with every homemade confection that the heart could ever want. This particular vendor sells: chocolate truffles, chocolate covered fruit, homemade caramel apples, chocolate-covered pretzels, fresh jams and homemade peanut butters just to name a few. Next up is the dairy section which houses organic cheeses, spreads, milk in assorted flavors (strawberry, chocolate, vanilla, etc), creams and other dairy products that are fresher than babies’ breathe.

Lovey baked goods: fruit pies, danishes, creme puffs, etc.

Their baked goods section reminds me of something from the movie Willy Wonka. There are various cakes, cookies, pies, breads, rolls, muffins, croissants, cinnamon rolls and even monkey bread. The sizes range from individual to feed a small platoon. They also have a display case with more intricate goodies that can be boxed up- fresh. On this particular day, I ordered $10 worth of goods and got a free cookie! SCORE! There’s also a secondary dessert station that focuses on meringue pies, fruited cheesecakes, layer-cakes, puddings and elaborate parfaits.

My stash of chocolate covered fruit

Moving throughout the well planned market you arrive at the organic and openly slaughtered meats. Across the way is the organic fruit & vegetable vendor. His fresh-squeezed juices and lemonades are AWESOME!! But the mother lode, and my personal favorite, is their hot food court. 

Fresh organic lemonade and a pretzel wrapped hot dog

Going into the food court always makes me feel like I’m in a Tex Avery cartoon…Hubba Hubba. There are vendors selling  fried pickles & Twinkies ®; homemade ice cream, Bar-B-Que chicken, turkey legs, and other artery- harming treats. My favorite station is the pretzel station that features hotdogs rolled in pretzel bread and baked to a fine golden crisp! They also offer cinnamon pretzels. I knew I was in the right place when I watched the vendor take a pretzel,dip it in hot butter and then roll it in cinnamon and sugar. I wanted to marry him.

Cinnamon pretzel

Leaving the market, arms filled with goodies, I am always singing, skipping and two steps from a full pop lock & drop. Aside from the social awkwardness that comes from believing everyone who is not a member of your religion or village is damned; the Amish are good people who serve up a great product cost-effectively and efficiently.

Skip the choc-covered bacon...made me ill

Things to note:

·   Hours of Operation: Thursday 10am-6pm/ Friday 9am-7pm/ Saturday 9am-3pm

·   Bring Cash: Not all vendors accept credit cards. Many of the hot food vendors don’t or they require a certain dollar amount being spent ($10). There is an ATM on site.

·   Anticipate crowds: The Amish market makes ‘Black Friday’ look like scrimmage at Little League.

·   Have patience: Although the vendors move fast and are courteous, it’s real in the feel so wear comfortable clothes and shoes and have a strategy of which vendors to hit.