Crunkcakes

 

(Picture property of the Washington City Paper)

Review: Crunkcakes

Location: Varies; Delivery in Washington, DC

Price: $4

Flavors: The Dirty Pillow & Buttery Nipple

Score: 5

I first heard about Crunkcakes through the Washington City Paper and later got a tip from the cupcake-loving community that I could score some of their treats at The Pug Bar for H Street Bakes. While there I met the duo behind the cupcakes, Raychel & Faith, and their many flavors: The Buttery Nipple, Dirty Pillow, Bacon Maple Whiskey and Nutty Irishmen. I walked away with The Dirty Pillow and The Buttery Nipple.

First, Crunkcakes is awesome!! For several reasons but the most obvious are that they merge two out of my three loves: liquor and cupcakes.  Don’t worry about the third one but it rhymes with Schwinn and walks on two legs.The idea of marrying liquor and cupcakes isn’t a new one but doing it where one doesn’t overpower the other, while maintaining the consistency, is damn near genius. Luckily, Crunkcakes has done both.

I started off with the Buttery Nipple (how do you not like something called a buttery nipple?) The moist cake was a surprising companion to the frosting which was the actual star. The rich frosting was bursting with my favorite liqueurs: Buttershots and Bailey’s Irish cream. I was literally licking the bag with my fingers looking for more of the sweet cupcake coating.

I purposefully saved ‘The Dirty Pillow’ for last. Anything that is served with its own utensil should be taken seriously. Further this cupcake is made using the famous tres leche cake technique which makes the cake juicy but not soggy. Needless to say, I was excited.

Twirling the cupcake around, I examined the soft luscious layers of creamy goodness which were orgasmic! Once I was in, I couldn’t stop. I had to keep going in for more and more until only the creamy liquid center remained. I scraped the walls of the waxy coated cup to finish off a job well done.

Due to the alcohol content, which was powerful yet subtle, I was a bit buzzed and needed to sleep it off. Clearly Crunkcakes lives up to their name and reputation. Further, cheaper than a shot, these $4 beauties will never spend an evening home alone. You will be tearing the paper off the moment you get into the house-if you can wait that long.

*Originally published on September 18, 2011